Carrying On

Sloan’s birthday is fast approaching so I’ve been very introspective as of late. I am also very near to starting my second trimester with this pregnancy. I had a rough few weeks adjusting to and accepting this new development in our grief journey and I’m finally feeling a bit better about it. Pregnancy after loss [...]

It’s been a while

I know I haven't written in several weeks, and I don't really have a reason. I just hadn't felt compelled to outwardly express my grief journey lately. It's been almost 4 months since I last held my baby. Feeling the gravity of that fact is too much, and expressing it means I have no choice [...]

In Response

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths a narcissistic person will go to garner sympathy. Unfortunately, since Sloan's death, we have experienced a few who've used him for just that.  Two days ago, a shop owner chose to randomly message another. She preyed upon her emotions by body shaming her for her weight and [...]

Belonging

Capture Your Grief 2017 day 4- Belonging.  A year ago he was still in my belly, safe and sound. Yesterday was 3 months without him. Today he'd have been 10 months old. I am the face of infant loss. I am the face of life after sids. Each year 100,000 parents face the unthinkable, I [...]

Capture Your Grief

October 1 begins Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 3rd marks 3 months since Sloan's death.  On Sunday I will begin participating in the world wide #Captureyourgrief2017 project on my Instagram @lifeofderosiers and here on the blog. This years theme is "Their Light Shines On", only fitting for the year we lost Sloanie.  A [...]

Cause and Effect

I have battled my own mind for most of the day, wanting to write about having finally been given Sloan's toxicology results. I wanted to express what this feels like. I wanted to express how everyone thinks being told a cause of death should be "closure" and  how, for us, in every way- it is [...]