Nostalgia and Ache

Nostalgia and Ache

Going through wedding photos this morning and feeling nostalgic. We were so much younger, even only two years ago. We hadn't had our second miscarriage yet. Hadn't gone through infertility. Hadn't experienced the joy of welcoming our rainbow baby into the world. We hadn't loved him yet, we hadn't lost him yet. Isn't it strange [...]

I Think That’s Enough

Next Sunday it will have been 2 months since Sloan's death. Two whole months without him. Two months of aching for a child we'll never hold again. Two months of unrelenting agony. Next Monday it will have been 2 years since my second miscarriage was confirmed. This month was 3 years since the due date [...]

Elephants

Every room of our home has a dragonfly or elephant in it. Most of you know why the dragonflies. But If you've wondered why elephants, here it is. Posted by one of the girls in the handmade community (originally by Jen Hatmaker): "Jordan Peterson we are your group of elephants and we got you Mama. [...]

Handmade

When I started building my own brand nearly 4 years ago I had no idea how involved I would get in the handmade world. I didn't know that some of my dearest friendships would come from this community of brand owners and rep mamas. I had no idea that one day, one of these people [...]

The Movies Are Real

You know when you're watching a movie or a tv show where someone dies, and their family member falls into this realm of denial? When the loved on just loses their mind and starts sobbing uncontrollably, or has to be coerced away from the body? You watch and you think "A little dramatic, yeah?" It's [...]

Unspent

Unspent

Grief is unspent love. Love you can no longer give tangibly. Love that's fallen into the void where they once were. Grief leaves you raw. It forces you to recognize things you never wanted to know. To feel things you didn't know you could feel. Some days I have no real words that can properly [...]

PTSD & Grief

Sometimes I find myself staring at the floor across the room as if waiting to see him come crawling toward me. I wake up in the middle of the night and sit up in bed thinking I hear him chattering to himself, wanting a bottle. I get random shooting pains in my right side and [...]