Another thing I’ve struggled with lately is the acknowledgment that Valorie is my last baby. I don’t know if it’s the fact that one of my babies had growing up stolen away from them, or the fact that no matter how many babies I have, one will be missing. But the idea of her being [...]
I wish I had taken more photos. Documented his milestones, saved all the measurements and savored each new moment. I wish I had kissed the top of his head more, touched my lips to his hair and breathed in his scent. I wish I’d memorized the feeling of his warm hands in mine, his pulse [...]
We are exhausted over here adjusting to life with three babes, two who are under two. It has been a pretty rough journey. Phoenix has always been a TERRIBLE sleeper, and Valorie only sleeps for 20-30 minutes at a time. Vallie is our fourth baby, the third non-sleeper. We’ve been through this many times and [...]
To the Mother Pregnant After Child Loss I too, have carried the weight of pregnancy and motherhood after the loss of one of my children. My own rainbow was placed in my arms, only 11 months after her brother’s life had been taken from us as he slept. She came barreling into our world after [...]
10 years. A whole decade. This was the decade Justin and I started dating. The decade we married and began our life together. The decade when life grew inside my body as we brought four beautiful babies into the world, changing and shifting our identities forever. The decade we lost two pregnancies, struggled with secondary [...]
Yesterday was one week since our PICU admittance with Vallie. I haven’t posted since we were discharged, because if I’m being completely honest, I’ve needed some emotional recovery. Recognizing how close we’d been to losing her, to losing another child, is deafening. When she was her sickest, they had rushed us through the ER, and [...]
Christmas came early for us. The respiratory therapist and our doctor just came in to check our girl again. Somebody has passed all her requirements and is being discharged to go home! I cant wait to snuggle my kiddos and be home to tuck them ALL in tonight.
