Rowan hugs and kisses my belly every morning and says I love you to Phoenix. This morning, I said “you are missing having a baby around aren’t you?” He looked up at me and responded “Yeah mama, a lot” I told him once his sister was here he could love and hug her just like [...]
A Weekend Elopement
Over the weekend I had the privilege of photographing my brother’s wedding. It was a small, intimate ceremony among the snowy mountains surrounding Leavenworth, Washington. It’s probably good I was preoccupied with getting the right captures, or I’d have been crying. (Tears of joy of course!) There's something to be said about witnessing moments in [...]
In Rowan’s Words
How do you feel about Sloan? I love him, that’s how I feel Do you remember the day he died? Yeah. At our old house. What do you remember most about that day? I was crying. I kissed him goodbye because he loved kisses. What is your favorite memory of Sloan? Playing with him. Loving [...]
Rowan
Rowan is our fiercely expressive and empathetic being. He senses any discourse or upset, and he wants to be sure he says what someone needs to hear in those moments. He is a “fixer” by nature, and seems to always know when his sweetness and silliness are needed. His independence amazes me. He occupies himself [...]
Baby Sloan Hugs
When I want to hold his hand this is the only answer. These tiny fingers, pruned up from his lifeless little body being kept cold as long as possible so that they could get the perfect castings. They’re so astonishingly beautiful, and yet such a sobering reminder of what isn’t. At times, looking at them, [...]
In Art & Time
Every night as I lay down, I reach into the drawer in my bedside table and pull out one of the castings of Sloan’s left hand. It’s my favorite one, the one that is formed in the exact way his hand world be if he had it wrapped around my thumb. It rests in the [...]
Seven
Sweet boy, today has been one I did not want to wake up to. A world in which you’ve now been absent from my arms, just as long as you were cradled in them. Tomorrow, the length of time without you will have surpassed that with you. I’ve repeated these unfair truths in my mind [...]
