I went through his things today. Many of them I hadn’t seen since he was alive. The things that had … Continue Reading
A Day Like Today
It is Bereaved Mother’s Day today. A day I never knew existed until suddenly, I existed in its cause. It’s … Continue Reading A Day Like Today
Grief Police
I have read my fair share of hateful things since Sloan’s death. Everyday there’s someone new leaving a comment somewhere, deciding their opinion of me and bereaved parents like me, has any bearing on the necessity of our authenticity. In … Continue Reading Grief Police
Comparison and Grief
There is a LOT of comparison in the world of child loss and bereavement. I see so many comments and messages from grieving people that contain something like “I know my loss isn’t like yours but…” and it saddens me. … Continue Reading Comparison and Grief
Home
Last night as I was tucking Rowan in to bed he started crying. I asked him what was wrong and … Continue Reading Home
This is the Space I Occupy
For two weeks now I have been trying to move past the response I got when I posted that short … Continue Reading This is the Space I Occupy
I Did the Dishes
People think they know how they’d react, what they’d do. You don’t. Grief is experienced differently by everyone. It is managed differently by everyone. I did the dishes when my son died. After we’d held his lifeless body for hours, … Continue Reading I Did the Dishes
Sticks and Stones
Did you know I have to have a filter set up on my Instagram to keep certain hurtful words and comments from my viewing? That a friend has my login info so that she may sort through my DMs to … Continue Reading Sticks and Stones
Wishes
I wish I had taken more photos. Documented his milestones, saved all the measurements and savored each new moment. I … Continue Reading Wishes
To the Mother Pregnant After Child Loss
To the Mother Pregnant After Child Loss I too, have carried the weight of pregnancy and motherhood after the loss … Continue Reading To the Mother Pregnant After Child Loss
The Rougher Days
There are days I don’t dwell on his death. Entire days where I manage for it not to pull me under even once. And then there are days like today, his birthday. When I’ve cried quietly, but with all of … Continue Reading The Rougher Days
Three
Tomorrow is your 3rd birthday. The third turn of a year for you, in which you aren’t here. It’s been … Continue Reading Three
November
Hello November! I’ve taken some time away from writing and posting lately. Life has been busy as we’ve settled into Rowan being in school, Phoenix turning into a little person instead of a baby, and ALL of us preparing for … Continue Reading November
This Was Never About Divinity
When you tell me “It was God’s plan”, “God needed him more”, “He’s in a better place”, “Heaven needed him”, or “Everything happens for a reason.” You are minimizing my child’s life and death. Stop saying these things to the … Continue Reading This Was Never About Divinity
International Bereaved Fathers Day
It’s International Bereaved Fathers Day today. I think something that is often forgotten in the world of child loss is that- dads grieve too. My husbands grief isn’t something I’ve spent much of any time talking about publicly because I … Continue Reading International Bereaved Fathers Day
A Letter To a Past Self
Dear Jordan, This morning, your son died. Right now it feels hopeless. As you hold your lifeless baby in your … Continue Reading A Letter To a Past Self
