“You are not a resolution to hard times, nor the means to the end of my grief. You are not here simply for the purpose of making me whole again.
Listen to me when I tell you, your purpose is inherently your own and is not tied to repairing me. You were not born with a job. We do not desire you to be a replacement.
When you came, so did so many of the good things we felt were lost, but that didn’t stop the sadness we felt.
Throughout your life, I will cry and grieve. You will find me sitting alone with my thoughts, trying to find new details in old pictures in an effort to reconnect with your sibling who came before you. As I raise you, nurture you and love you, I will be longing for your sibling. Every new experience I share with you will be shadowed by the realization of just what we have lost, a reminder of the void in my heart. It will be marvelous, brilliant, and painful.
When the time comes that you recognize this pain, you might want to fix it.
You might feel like it’s your job. But you can’t, and it’s not.
You cannot take away my grief because I do not grieve for you. You are YOU, not them.
You are inherently worthy of your place on this earth and in my heart because of who you are as an individual, not because of the thing your breath has done for me.” – Hannah Aubut @brunchingwithgrief ———————————
🌈Today is National Rainbow Baby Day. A rainbow baby is a baby born after miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss or child loss. Sloan was a rainbow baby born after two previous miscarriages and infertility, Phoenix is a rainbow baby born after child loss, and baby 4 will be a pot of gold baby (a baby born after a rainbow baby) 🌈