Your Words Have Power

Your words have power. I think we all know this, right? Yet far too many people set aside compassion, respect, and consideration when they express them. I have read my fair share of hateful things since Sloan’s death. It’s unfortunate that people have read Sloan’s story somewhere out there in the world, and sought out my social media just so they could shame me, insult me, or blame me for his death. Everyday there’s someone new leaving a comment somewhere pretending to be a sanctiparent and offering their all knowing, perfect person award recipient judgment. Like anyone asked.

In the beginning, these words stung. They affected me deeply in the fog of the days immediately following Sloan’s death. There were so many kind and supportive sentiments offered up for us, far more than there were negative. But because of that, the negative words affected me. In the two months since my son’s death I have gained strength. When I choose to open up my world for the perspective of others, when I choose to share in spite of those who do not try to understand, when I choose to put our story to use, to give it purpose, and when I choose every day to keep going, I am strengthening.

So I have something to say to these people:

Your words have power.

You’re wasting it. When you choose to say something hateful and judgmental to me, you aren’t wounding me. You aren’t getting your point across.  You aren’t showing me what I did wrong. You aren’t making me feel guilty for making a mistake. You aren’t burying me in more grief. You aren’t winning. Instead, you’re giving me, and all others who read your words, an in depth look at who you are. A look at what you do wrong, at what you know nothing about, a look at all the things you aren’t. You are not wise, you are not better, you are not without mistakes. In your haste to try and teach me a lesson about myself, you’ve instead taught all of us about you.

Your hateful words have power. Over you.

 

8 thoughts on “Your Words Have Power

  1. I’ve seen some pretty ugly comments when his story was being shared so much right after you did an interview. And I’ve seen some on stories of local people who lost their toddler after he was mistakenly left in a car. It’s easy for people to say ” if that was me I wouldn’t have done such and such” or ” I would never/ will never do something like that”. But accidents happen. Things happen. For some unseen reason…. they just happen. When I read these kinds of stories I think of how I can avoid these tragedies with my own littles, instead of judging and coming down on some poor mom and dad who are already blaming themselves. Thank you for being open and sharing his story so other mothers can watch over their babies even closer and more carefully😘

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  2. Wow, I love this! So well said. I don’t think people realize how this type of behavior is perceived by others and that they’re mostly hurting their own selves.

    Btw, my son is the same age as your Sloan and he hasn’t slept with a blanket ever since I heard your story. Thank you for being strong enough to share, and I’m so so sorry for your loss.

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  3. My grandson is exactly 3 weeks younger than Sloan. After 2 Children and 3 Grandchildren, your story convinced me to even take the bumper pad out of the baby bed. Your story and your son are saving others who will be spared a tragic accident because you chose to advocate for crib safety. Thank you.

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  4. Prayers for you! I’m so glad that you have this perspective of these people. No one has a right to judge you. I thank God that I’ve never had to go through your loss. I honestly cannot and don’t even want to try to fathom this loss.

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  5. Bravo! This couldn’t have been said better! You’re a really brave mom to share your story and trust me, you and Sloan have made a huge impact on countless lives! You for sharing your journey after childloss and helping other parents who have Also lost their children know they are not alone in how they feel, and Sloan for bringing awareness to something many parents perhaps thought their babies were no longer at risk for. Just know the love for you guys is way bigger than any negative comment you will ever get. And know that as mama bears we will always defend and stand up for you when we see something like that.

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  6. Incredibly powerful, and very well said. I couldn’t have said it any better. I’ve always said, “Hurt people hurt.” People can be so insecure and burdened with the weight of their own failures and shortcomings. I think with some, the only way they can cope is by projecting their own issues onto others. They don’t have to face their own reality if they can keep busy by kicking others when they’re at their lowest low. It sucks, but sadly, it’s what some people seem to do. It sounds like you’re now letting derogatory comments not only roll
    off your back, but I’m sensing that you’re allowing them to fuel your fire and empower you. I’m proud of you for getting there. You’ve definitely been run through the fire. One day, you’ll emerge a complete, polished work! Jordan, you’re a wonderful, loving mom, and it is so evident in all your photos and posts. I admire your strength in the face of this earth-shattering tragedy. Sloan and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Love always, from one of your spirit sissies!

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  7. I have learned so much from your story. If you wouldn’t have shared Sloan’s story I would still be putting my baby to bed with a blanket, as I did my other two babies prior. Sloan’s story allowed me to learn more about crib safety. Thank you for being so brave and sharing. You are making a difference.

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