I could have made the choice not to stay. To give up, to give in, to let go and go to wherever my baby has gone. But what would that have done? To Justin? To Rowan? To my family and friends? I chose, and continue to choose to survive, as painful and unrelenting as it is. Because if I survive, so does his story, so does his legacy, so does his memory, so does his light. I wish, every second, of every day, that I could be where his is. That I could cradle him in my arms and feel his breath on my skin. But by some unimaginable, unfair, horrific twist of fate-that is not what was chosen for us. And while faith/religion/Jesus is not something Justin and I identify with, we are spiritual. I know my baby is with me in spirit, I know he visits me in moments, as the wind, as a dragonfly, as a song or as a message. I could have made the choice not to stay, but I believe in purpose. Just as I know Sloan’s purpose was to bring light, to move mountains, to bring together, and to protect…I also know my purpose is to keep sharing his.