This Very Moment

24 hours ago right now our lives changed forever. We have not let Ro out of our site for even a moment. I cling to him as if my own life depends on it now. The hands, and people who have held me the past 24 hours have been immeasurably impactful and comforting. My mom holding me and justin as we were told he was gone, my dad holding me while I wept over Sloan initially, Kailynn holding me as I sat on the couch rocking Sloan as if he’d been sleeping, my brother holding me while I traced every inch of my babies lifeless face and gave my statement to the detectives. The EMT who held me as he explained in tears that he’d lost his own infant son several years before, Nicole holding me while I sobbed into her shoulder after they took him away and out of the house. But most importantly, Rowan holding me, at 3.5 years old and saying “Mama I’m sorry baby Sloan died.”

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