Adenomyosis & PCS
Day 5 Post-op from Vaginal Hysterectomy with tube removal, POP repair, and perineal muscle reconstruction. Yesterday we received the pathology … Continue Reading Adenomyosis & PCS
Goodbye Uterus: Surgery Day
To start- I’m alive! I apparently bled out towards the end of the surgery, narrowly missing the need for a … Continue Reading Goodbye Uterus: Surgery Day
Grieving publicly is not synonymous with victim-hood.
A common, and societal misconception tends to be that discussing grief and trauma = victimizing yourself. It can get so overwhelming to take stock of my traumas, to feel the weight of those experiences, and to carry them alone. And … Continue Reading Grieving publicly is not synonymous with victim-hood.
Victim Blaming & Familial Emotional Abuse
Over the past two years I’ve watched as my husband gained the strength to set clear boundaries and cease all … Continue Reading Victim Blaming & Familial Emotional Abuse
Don’t Tell Me to Smile
I’m human, and sometimes words hurt. But it’s so frustrating that the thoughtless words of some stranger on the internet … Continue Reading Don’t Tell Me to Smile
What We Learned From Losing a Child to SIDS
-Each year, there are about 3,500 sudden unexpected infant deaths (SUID) in the United States. These deaths occur among infants less … Continue Reading What We Learned From Losing a Child to SIDS
Closing a Chapter
In a little more than 30 days I’ll lose the ability to have children ever again. I haven’t talked about … Continue Reading Closing a Chapter
Merry Griefmas
To other mamas with a stocking hanging from the mantle, that won’t be emptied by tiny hands tomorrow. I see you. As we usher in this holiday without our babies, some of us who’ve done this before, and some for … Continue Reading Merry Griefmas
Silence
I traced his entire face. Felt the bridge of his nose under my finger tips, the silk of his eyebrows, … Continue Reading Silence
Forgotten
Imagine for even 5 seconds what it would be like to face your child’s birthdays without them. Literally, without them. … Continue Reading Forgotten
A Golden Birthday
7 months will never have been enough. I hate that we celebrate your birthdays without you. I hate that death … Continue Reading A Golden Birthday
Words Escape Me
Your 4th birthday is in 7 days and I wonder who you’d be. Would you have your brothers sensitive nature? Would you have your sisters wildness? Would your eyes still seem to contain the depths of all space and time? … Continue Reading Words Escape Me
No Photos
The photos taken during end of life sessions, during the decision making, during the goodbyes, during the memorials, during the moments of stillness, emptiness, and tears filled with eternal ache, are so, so important. When those photos are shared by … Continue Reading No Photos
On Chrissy Teigen’s Loss
I want you to know, that when celebrities lose a child, they have real human emotions. They grieve just as … Continue Reading On Chrissy Teigen’s Loss
Comparison may be the thief of joy, but it’s still normal.
I have a confession to make. Lately, through the muck of struggle in being a mother of 3, a new and probably largely unqualified homeschool teacher, a work from home-r, and a mediocre “influencer”, the deep rooted and creeping feelings … Continue Reading Comparison may be the thief of joy, but it’s still normal.
Phoenix Update
It’s been 2 months since Phoenix’s surgery, and she’s made incredible improvement! She finally has an appetite, which has allowed … Continue Reading Phoenix Update
